Alain Johns (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
honest_johns) wrote2005-04-14 03:38 am
honest_johns) wrote2005-04-14 03:38 am
19 Things About Alain Johns
1. There is, and probably will always be, a small part of Alain that feels obscurely guilty for dying. It's partly because the manner of his death will always stand a little between them in the others' eyes, but mostly because it meant leaving them. Breaking the tet and stepping onto the path alone, and abandoning them to make their own way. This has only become more true as he's learned more of what happened to Roland in his life afterward, along the road to the Tower. He knows perfectly well how irrational this is, of course, and it's not something he dwells on or anything, but it's there.
2. In Mejis, with Susan, the four of them were essentially peers. She's still the same age, but since her death, they've had ten bitter years of experience and growth. Mostly that doesn't matter much at all, for their closeness, but one result of it for Alain is that his relationship with her has subtly shifted; he's gone from "surrogate brother" to "big brother," at least in his own subconscious. I'm not entirely sure how much he's consciously aware of that shift.
3. Alain has never had a One True Love. He's had a couple of serious girlfriends, the details of which I'm still figuring out, but both of those relationships ended, fairly amiably. (I do know that one was a rancher's daughter, who moved back to the countryside to live with extended family when the war was pressing close, in hopes that an isolated ranch would be safer than the city that was both last stronghold and burning hotbed of conflict. I also know that one died, a year or two after they'd broken it off, and the other disappeared with her family in another upheaval of war; she survived and is fine, although Alain doesn't know that. Don't know which of those is the rancher's dark-haired daughter.)
Deep down, he doesn't think he'll ever have a One True Love, because he doesn't think he's that type of person. (I'm not sure he's right about that, but I'm not sure he isn't.) He doesn't mind; he's happy without. I think that awareness is also part of the reason why, when those relationships of his ended, he was able to let them do so with a minimum of angst. (Another part of it, of course, is just Alain's basic personality.)
4. Alain knows that, when you get right down to it, Roland and Cuthbert would call the other their dearest friend. He genuinely doesn't mind; they're all so close anyway that it doesn't matter.
5. As discovered with Ted: Alain has no problem, as a general rule, with his mind being read so far as the touch allows. (Which is not to say, of course, that he can't think of any number of specific situations in which that would be disastrous. We're talking generalities here.) He doesn't mind sendings from friends, either. What he does mind, very deeply, is anything that goes beyond reading/communication, without specific warning and permission asked. Images of things that aren't there, in a way that's closer to hallucination than an-tet sharing, is clearly a big no, although to be fair it depends on image and context.
6. Every time he comes into the bar, or every time someone comes in the door, Alain glances to see if it's Jamie DeCurry. He doesn't do this consciously, or think about it much, but still there's a part of him that's waiting for the final member of their tet, and sure that he'll show up sometime.
7. As Jez wrote for Cuthbert, when the three of them returned from Mejis, Cort treated Cuthbert and Alain just as he always did. Cuthbert chafed at this, loudly and furiously, and challenged him four months later. Alain was much quieter about it, with a tendency instead to go silent with glinting eyes in front of Cort and to say things about biding one's time when they were alone out of Cort's hearing, but all the same he challenged as soon as Cort had healed from Cuthbert's trial, at age fifteen. (I have no idea what he chose as weapon. He's being silent on that subject. Knife.)
8. Alain had a dog when he was young. His name was White Ear -- shut up, Alain was about three when he named him -- and he was the runt of a litter of hunting dogs, culled from the breeding pool but given to Alain as a pet when he was three or so. He was mottled brown and white with one all-white ear (hence the name), and they adored each other. When he left his father's house to train as a gunslinger, he took White Ear with him to the barracks. He lived to the ripe old age of fourteen, by which point Alain was seventeen and White Ear had grown much too old to be living in barracks, but still greeted Alain with ancient exuberance whenever he came home to his parents' house.
9. Burning Chris Johns died when his son was eighteen. He was sent out to quell the stirrings of uprising in a town a few days' ride away; he succeeded, but he and his party were ambushed on the way home. Cuthbert's father survived the battle, although he was wounded, and he was the one who brought Burning Chris's guns back to Alain.
10. Alain's birthday isa week the day before Mid-Summer.
11. Alain is bright and he knows it. He's not as quick-witted as Cuthbert, but he is patient and observant and intuitive. This is why he has no problem at all with being taken for stupid because of his quietness and round open face and thoughtful manner. The people who matter know him; the ones who don't are entirely welcome to underestimate him.
12. Alain's favorite color is blue.
13. Because I am periodically compulsive about medical realism, I know where each of the two bullets that killed him hit, and what damage they did. (Either wound would have killed him. One did it a lot quicker than the other would have.) I also, somewhat against my will, know which bullet was whose. Alain does not know the details of any of this, has no interest in knowing, and would strongly resist being told that last bit.
14. As I said in comments to Cuthbert's 19 things, Alain truly has forgiven Roland and Cuthbert for his death. He also knows that they haven't and won't ever forgive themselves for it. This saddens him, but he also knows that in their place -- as, in his eyes, he might just as easily have been, if things had worked out a little differently -- he would feel exactly the same, and would never forgive himself either.
15. Alain wears a thin silver chain around his neck, usually hidden by his shirt. It was the only thing he took from his mother's jewelry box after she died, and he never takes it off.
16. Alain is quite a good leader, when he wants to be, but it's not something he especially enjoys. It's a role to take on, and he'll do it willingly and well if there's need, but he's not like Roland who has a tendency to end up in command (or at least in control) of any group and situation he finds himself in. Alain is happy as a sidekick, and has no desire to be a dinh.
17. Alain has a fair natural talent for drawing. It's not something he thinks to be especially proud of, nor something he exercises very often -- paper is expensive, after all, and he has plenty of other demands on his time. But if you give him paper and pen and ask him to draw a particular person, he'll produce a decently recognizable sketch.
18. Alain had an older sister, though he never knew her. Her name was Catherine, and she lived for three days after her birth.
19. The first time Alain killed an enemy in battle, it felt good and right, and his only thoughts were of success and the next target. The first time he had to kill a wounded soldier of Gilead as mercy, he threw up.
[Edited slightly to clarify the last one.]
[10/6: Edited again for revision due to later developments]
2. In Mejis, with Susan, the four of them were essentially peers. She's still the same age, but since her death, they've had ten bitter years of experience and growth. Mostly that doesn't matter much at all, for their closeness, but one result of it for Alain is that his relationship with her has subtly shifted; he's gone from "surrogate brother" to "big brother," at least in his own subconscious. I'm not entirely sure how much he's consciously aware of that shift.
3. Alain has never had a One True Love. He's had a couple of serious girlfriends, the details of which I'm still figuring out, but both of those relationships ended, fairly amiably. (I do know that one was a rancher's daughter, who moved back to the countryside to live with extended family when the war was pressing close, in hopes that an isolated ranch would be safer than the city that was both last stronghold and burning hotbed of conflict. I also know that one died, a year or two after they'd broken it off, and the other disappeared with her family in another upheaval of war; she survived and is fine, although Alain doesn't know that. Don't know which of those is the rancher's dark-haired daughter.)
Deep down, he doesn't think he'll ever have a One True Love, because he doesn't think he's that type of person. (I'm not sure he's right about that, but I'm not sure he isn't.) He doesn't mind; he's happy without. I think that awareness is also part of the reason why, when those relationships of his ended, he was able to let them do so with a minimum of angst. (Another part of it, of course, is just Alain's basic personality.)
4. Alain knows that, when you get right down to it, Roland and Cuthbert would call the other their dearest friend. He genuinely doesn't mind; they're all so close anyway that it doesn't matter.
5. As discovered with Ted: Alain has no problem, as a general rule, with his mind being read so far as the touch allows. (Which is not to say, of course, that he can't think of any number of specific situations in which that would be disastrous. We're talking generalities here.) He doesn't mind sendings from friends, either. What he does mind, very deeply, is anything that goes beyond reading/communication, without specific warning and permission asked. Images of things that aren't there, in a way that's closer to hallucination than an-tet sharing, is clearly a big no, although to be fair it depends on image and context.
6. Every time he comes into the bar, or every time someone comes in the door, Alain glances to see if it's Jamie DeCurry. He doesn't do this consciously, or think about it much, but still there's a part of him that's waiting for the final member of their tet, and sure that he'll show up sometime.
7. As Jez wrote for Cuthbert, when the three of them returned from Mejis, Cort treated Cuthbert and Alain just as he always did. Cuthbert chafed at this, loudly and furiously, and challenged him four months later. Alain was much quieter about it, with a tendency instead to go silent with glinting eyes in front of Cort and to say things about biding one's time when they were alone out of Cort's hearing, but all the same he challenged as soon as Cort had healed from Cuthbert's trial, at age fifteen. (
8. Alain had a dog when he was young. His name was White Ear -- shut up, Alain was about three when he named him -- and he was the runt of a litter of hunting dogs, culled from the breeding pool but given to Alain as a pet when he was three or so. He was mottled brown and white with one all-white ear (hence the name), and they adored each other. When he left his father's house to train as a gunslinger, he took White Ear with him to the barracks. He lived to the ripe old age of fourteen, by which point Alain was seventeen and White Ear had grown much too old to be living in barracks, but still greeted Alain with ancient exuberance whenever he came home to his parents' house.
9. Burning Chris Johns died when his son was eighteen. He was sent out to quell the stirrings of uprising in a town a few days' ride away; he succeeded, but he and his party were ambushed on the way home. Cuthbert's father survived the battle, although he was wounded, and he was the one who brought Burning Chris's guns back to Alain.
10. Alain's birthday is
11. Alain is bright and he knows it. He's not as quick-witted as Cuthbert, but he is patient and observant and intuitive. This is why he has no problem at all with being taken for stupid because of his quietness and round open face and thoughtful manner. The people who matter know him; the ones who don't are entirely welcome to underestimate him.
12. Alain's favorite color is blue.
13. Because I am periodically compulsive about medical realism, I know where each of the two bullets that killed him hit, and what damage they did. (Either wound would have killed him. One did it a lot quicker than the other would have.) I also, somewhat against my will, know which bullet was whose. Alain does not know the details of any of this, has no interest in knowing, and would strongly resist being told that last bit.
14. As I said in comments to Cuthbert's 19 things, Alain truly has forgiven Roland and Cuthbert for his death. He also knows that they haven't and won't ever forgive themselves for it. This saddens him, but he also knows that in their place -- as, in his eyes, he might just as easily have been, if things had worked out a little differently -- he would feel exactly the same, and would never forgive himself either.
15. Alain wears a thin silver chain around his neck, usually hidden by his shirt. It was the only thing he took from his mother's jewelry box after she died, and he never takes it off.
16. Alain is quite a good leader, when he wants to be, but it's not something he especially enjoys. It's a role to take on, and he'll do it willingly and well if there's need, but he's not like Roland who has a tendency to end up in command (or at least in control) of any group and situation he finds himself in. Alain is happy as a sidekick, and has no desire to be a dinh.
17. Alain has a fair natural talent for drawing. It's not something he thinks to be especially proud of, nor something he exercises very often -- paper is expensive, after all, and he has plenty of other demands on his time. But if you give him paper and pen and ask him to draw a particular person, he'll produce a decently recognizable sketch.
18. Alain had an older sister, though he never knew her. Her name was Catherine, and she lived for three days after her birth.
19. The first time Alain killed an enemy in battle, it felt good and right, and his only thoughts were of success and the next target. The first time he had to kill a wounded soldier of Gilead as mercy, he threw up.
[Edited slightly to clarify the last one.]
[10/6: Edited again for revision due to later developments]